很久没有这么难过，难过到眼泪忍不住就下来！

近月来无数次的吵架，无数次的沟通无果！

又一次感到心累，无助，无奈！

不知道怎么解决！

想使劲的倾诉，使劲呐喊，发泄出来！

可是不知道从哪里开始

也不知道从哪里结束！

这种好久没有感觉到的无奈纠结

我喘不过起来，只能默默的流泪！

半醒状态被泼了一身水？

我还是无法相信这件事发生了！

我无法原谅这种行为，

我找不到理由和原因原谅他！

我不知道还值不值得坚持！？

想不开的时候就不想了吧！

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

心里怕怕的，看看别人的小孩子转眼从BB变成小伙儿。。

心里的恐惧顿时无线放大，膨胀到我不敢去想！

听说过这样的话：什么年纪干什么事！

看看自己，我是在做我应该做的事情么？

想想自己的大方向！

为什么那么容易被disattracted?

西班牙语！西语国家！

A去PP已经3天多了。。。有些想他！

还好没有达到难过的地步。。。呵呵。。。

没有时间的沉淀，果真是不一样的！

知道她跟他有点情况后，

我心里莫名的不高兴！

确实也不关我的事情就对了！

真的不知道是为什么~~~

越来越不了解自己。。。

Change your thoughts, change your life!

本周我要做的事情：

• 西语0.5H/Day
• 简单写Service Draft
• Make Calendar for Andrew
• Go swimming on Tue and Friday or Sat

北京时间10月13号到现在11月18号

已经过了1个月零一个周

感觉已经过了很久，可是事实是也才过了一个月

这与我近来的状态很相关，

总觉得时间过得挺慢的。。。

这不是件好事情！

是时候写写总结，问问自己在做什么了！

Key words:  旅行，工作与金钱，爱情

• 旅行

西班牙的旅行，对我而言，些许梦幻。。。

感觉自己活在恍惚中，

很舒服，有Fer无微不至的照顾，

缺了冒险，多了舒适安全。

可是回来1个月，我的心又开始痒痒了

尤其是昨晚看到Lili的Hitchhiking照片后

告诉自己: 那样的流浪飘生活一定很有意思！

可是自己做肯定不可以。所以我要看看时机！

可是一定要做！

• 爱情

伤害了Fer我的心非常的痛苦

回来以后，纠结了好久

体会了选择与决定的重要！

自问：真爱需要选择么？

这是一个我需要调查的问题！

与大安一起很舒服，慢慢习惯。。。

看到朋友签名：growing long hair is like running a relationship. It can be difficult at the beginning, but when your hair gets to a certain length and you are used to it, you feel comfortable with it, and people tell you it suits you, you just don’t see a reason you should cut it short again. But it does require a lot of effort to keep it healthy and pretty.

再问：爱情到底是什么？

• 工作与金钱

一直不断的兼职，是想让自己忙一些

然后可以更多的旅行，惬意的生活

直到又一次与Laura聊天

心里的天平又一次失衡

相对比与她，觉得自己很笨。。。

是时候想想自己到底想要做什么了！

仔细想想，我对旅行和吃真是情有独钟！

A建议我考虑自己做些有意思的Private Tours.

可能我是真的很容易被disattracted…

不过要真的是我喜欢做的，WHY NOT?

• Weekend~~~

这个周末我要好好利用下时间做好要做的事情！

加油！Angela！

听这首歌，心里隐隐的痛！

是不想回忆，不想去体会的痛！

记忆是奇怪的东西！

不过我还是珍惜所有的体会！

让我感知自己活着！

It’s been seven hours and fifteen days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away
Since you been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

It’s been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they’d only remind me of you
I went to the doctor n’guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said girl u better try to have fun
No matter what you’ll do
But he’s a fool
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

all the flowers that you planted, mama
In the back yard
All died when you went away
I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard
But I’m willing to give it another try
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms

but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;

thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,

risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

So I love you because I know no other way than this: where I does not exist, nor you,

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Within these 21 days, don’t make any excuses, don’t blame and don’t complain. Take 100% responsibility. This is the first thing that you must do to change your life. For things to change, you must first change yourself. Always remember this, nothing will change if you’re not changing.

2. Focus In Where You Are Heading

You must live a directed life in these 21 days. So know what you really want to achieve in your life, write down your goals once every morning after you woke up and once every night before you sleep. You need to sink the idea of your goals into your subconscious mind and this is what you’ll have to do.

3. Motivate, Learn and Improve

One of the reasons for causing inaction is because of the lack of motivation. If you don’t have the motivation, you’ll never take action. You need motivation to keep you going in your life, to achieve what you want, to earn more, to be a millionaire and to be successful.

4. Take Action Everyday

Once you’ve your goals written down and your action plan created. It is time for you to follow through your action plan and achieve your goals. So take at least 3 action steps everyday for the following 21 days. You MUST do this. No matter how busy you are, take 3 actions even if you need to sleep late.

Success is about getting things done. The more things you get them done, the more results you’ll receive. This is what separates a successful person from an ordinary one. Every successful person is a go-getter. So learn to be a go-getter in the following 21 days.

This is the 21-day challenge for you. I hope that you can follow through and be who you are supposed to be. Everyone wants to be rich, everyone wants to be a millionaire and everyone wants to live a successful life. If you are serious in achieving what you really want in your life, live these 21 days with 100% commitment.

My Goal: Speak Spanish!

• Preparation Stage

买了西班牙往返的机票是在一个月前，淡定了很久。。。呵呵

菲律宾之行回来后一周多后，就开始了各种繁复的材料准备

各种文件复印，证明，信件，行程，财务信息，等等各种。。。

准备的过程是今天一点，明天一片的，参考各种经验分享。。。

感觉也不是那么困难。。呵呵呵。。。

Lesson 1: The long travel comes from the first step. //千里之行始于足下。

• Hand out Material Stage

拖拖拉拉的终于吧材料准备齐全，发了预约信后

在0723一大早去了三里屯，西班牙大使馆

根据保安的提示，把资料按顺序排好后，

去交钱，面签。。。

收钱的Spanierd一看就是个垃圾。。。SB嗷嗷的。。。

面试我的相对而言比较帅，看起来比较认真工作的样子。。

但是好像也不是很友好。。。:(… ppl with attitude are so annoying!

当然事情不能那么顺利。。。不然就不叫人生了。。。

我的活期储蓄记录中，由于留下的存款过少，被要求重新补充新的材料

证明经济实力。。。即使我另一个证明里说明我有5万元的存款。。。

问了需要多少在里面的时候，来了一句多少都行。。。这是什么废话！

无奈，心想去最近的招行赶紧再打印出一份存款证明什么的，结果没带卡！

只好作罢，打道回府。。。周一再去一次！来回2个小时的时间啊。。。

只怪自己准备的不够充分。。。太轻视了。。。唉。。。

Lesson 2: Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity。// 当准备遇到机遇时，幸运就降临了。

• 2nd Time around

周一一大早，起床洗漱完毕直奔地铁。。。

到了使馆进了侧门，我说了句你好

一个看起来很贱的年轻女淫凶凶的说：等下。。。

MLGB的。。。后来等了3-4分钟以后，

她才来给我搞签证。。。然后来了一个西班牙女。。。

挺高的。。。长得一般，但是看起来胸器了得。。LOL

这女淫就开始漏贱样儿了。。。微笑的对那西女说话

然后给她拿东西，放下我的资料，不搭理我了。。。

好在时间不长。。。不然我这破脾气。。。她就要被骂了

我的签证也就彻底没戏啦。。。哈哈哈

联想到，平时我出去玩，貌似我也比较怠慢中国同胞。。。

这里反省下。。。不过我觉得我们的状态不一样。。。

不是因为是中国人我怠慢，而是我不认识。。。

跟外国朋友比较容易交流，毕竟人家的文化思想较开放些。。。

Lesson 3: Don’t treat others the way you don’t want to be treated. //己所不欲，勿施于人。

周四我的签证结果就下来咯！Finger Crossed 哦！！！

后记：

周四没有去大使馆看签证，因为接到电话说，要给我面试。哈哈哈。。。无奈。。。

第二周周二去了，坦坦荡荡的平平安安稳稳当当的得到了西班牙的签证！

yahooooooooooooooooo 西班牙我们十月见咯！:)

我日！

最近发现我很花痴。。。ho ho ho.

看多了爱情喜剧，发现这么多帅锅锅哦。。。

昨晚看那了Twilight 3, 觉的Jacob那叫一个Man啊。。。

我不行了。。。哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。。。

突然发现，花痴可以让心情爽好哦！嘿嘿。。。

Wa ka ka ka …

John wooden, ESPN ranks him as the greatest coach of all time, across all sports.

One that sums up his ideology quite well is his often-quoted definition of success: "Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best that you are capable of becoming."

与学生Morris上课的时候，讨论了我心中的True Success：1. 开心的生活；2. 带给周围的人快乐；3. 平凡但是幸福的家庭

也许在男生的眼里，这个true success有些Emotional。。。虽然我是Rational Type! 但是这是我期望的，想要的，应该追求的！哈哈哈。。。

贴一个前段时间做的测试，呵呵，自我感觉还真是很准！我是很Boyish啦。。。。

哈哈。。。I sometimes do not understand woman even like myself…. especially when I have periods! LOL

———————————————Cutting Line————————————————————

I will be very busy start from next week! I hope I will be able to juggling well with everything happening together! Quite excited about it… wa ha ha ha…

you should cherish youth

Time slips away when you are

enjoy life

Time goes fast while you are

focused and busy with what you do

Half of 2010 has flew away…

Look back… I have done quite

a lot of travelling which I am very happy about

- Shanghai for 2010 NY

- Phuket. Thailand for CNY

- Pingyao old city town for a weekend

- Manila/Cebu/Bohol in Philippines for Dragon boat festival…

Me vuelve loco de viejas! Y quiero viajar mas!

My next trip will be SPAIN!

YAY! ha ha…

I will be so poor but who cares about money!

I only live once, I am going to enjoy my life

and see/experience as much I can!

Save money to pay for my travel!

Aprender Espanol!

About love and relationship,

2.5 months to go!

I hope yuanfen and our effort will bring us together.

Perhaps I should go to lama temple again.

Hope everything goes well for the rest of the 2010!

Jia You!